Research, however, has shown that infatuation (i.e., passionate love) and attachment (i.e., companionate love) typically do decline over time [14, 16], so having this opinion might limit one’s chances of having long-lasting relationships. Follow these action strategies to get more It has been accepted for inclusion in Advanced Writing: Pop Culture Intersections by an authorized administrator of Scholar Commons. See Fig 5 for the ERP waveforms and Fig 7 for the scalp topographies of the differences between regulation and view conditions. The interactions involving the factors Picture and Group were not significant in any of the time windows, all Fs < 1, ns, which indicated that the ERP response to the partner compared to the neutral pictures did not differ between the relationship and break-up groups. Reappraisal may be more advantageous in the long run though, because decreasing love feelings might help people to move on after a break-up. These questions were phrased to measure perceived control over love in general, and over infatuation and attachment specifically. It is not only possible but necessary to change one's approach to Participants provided 30 digital pictures of their partner. Only one participant mentioned using suppression. Artifact rejection was performed at individual electrodes with the criterion minimum and maximum baseline-to-peak -75 to +75 μV. The late positive potential (LPP) reflects multiple and overlapping positivies over the posterior scalp beginning in the time range of the classic P300, i.e., around 300 ms after stimulus onset. have to go out and be active and learn a variety of specific In the context of long-term relationships, communication/honesty was important for maintaining long-term relationships, while undertaking (new) activities with the beloved was used to prevent love feelings from declining (i.e., love up-regulation). For daily life applicability, it would of course be important that the effects of love regulation are long-lived and/or that people are able to perform love regulation habitually to obtain a sustained effect. No, Is the Subject Area "Behavior" applicable to this article? There was a significant main effect of Love type, F(2,76) = 19.8, ε = 1.0, p < .001. Publication Info Even though the LPP was reduced by love up-regulation at the group level, participants who actually showed a more enhanced LPP amplitude as a result of love up-regulation in this time window also showed a greater decrease in negative affect as a result of love up-regulation. Therefore, in addition to subjective self-reports, we used event-related potentials (ERPs) as a more objective measure of love regulation success. It's not negotiable. The present study examined the association of love attitudes with the initiation, maintenance, and dissolution of relationships. Indeed, falling out of love is the primary reason for divorce [17]. The neutral stimuli were 30 neutral pictures displaying humans from the International Affective Picture System (IAPS) [53] with neutral normative valence (M = 5.4, SD = 0.5) and low normative arousal (M = 3.5, SD = 0.5) ratings, see S1 Text. The study was approved by the Psychologie Ethische Commissie of the Erasmus Universiteit Rottterdam and written informed consent was obtained. Examples of other reappraisal strategies were thinking that time will heal, finding someone else to love, or focusing on positive aspects of oneself or one’s life. Alternatively or additionally, recent work has shown that reappraising anxiety as excitement (i.e., changing the valence from negative to positive) improved performance in anxiety-provoking tasks compared to trying to calm down (i.e., reducing arousal) [77], so it may be more beneficial to change valence rather than arousal when regulating love feelings. Distraction was used more to feel better, while reappraisal by focusing on the negative aspects of the beloved/relationship was used more to decrease love feelings. As a In addition, participants perceived some aspects of love to be more controllable than other aspects. Because self-reports are the only way to assess subjective feelings [39], they are often used in behavioral and neuroimaging studies on emotion regulation as a way to assess regulation success (e.g., [49, 57, 73, 74]). In this analysis, only significant effects involving the factor Regulation are reported, because the main effect of Group is not relevant for the research question. As in Study 1, some strategies seemed specific for feeling better during heartbreak (i.e., emotion regulation) or for maintaining long-term relationships, while strategies such as reappraisal by focusing on the negative aspects of the beloved or the relationship and undertaking (new) activities with the beloved were used to down- and up-regulate love feelings, respectively. Participants felt more in control of the intensity than of the object of their love feelings. Data Availability: Our data cannot be made publicly available for ethical reasons. Talk While some strategies seemed specific for feeling better during heartbreak or for maintaining long-term relationships, strategies such as reappraisal by focusing on negative aspects of the beloved or the relationship and undertaking (new) activities with the beloved seemed specific for down- and up-regulation of love feelings, respectively. Although previous studies have shown that people can implicitly derogate the attractiveness of people other than the current partner [71, 72], the current investigation is unique because it reveals that people can deliberately down-regulate their love feelings for their (ex-)partner. In the long-term relationship context, reappraisal was subdivided into “focus on the positive aspects of the beloved/relationship”, and “think of positive future scenarios”. Or "this isn't about me, this is something In addition, the pictures ensure high ecological validity, as the partner is typically encountered in a wide variety of contexts and with varying facial expressions. The relationship group experienced more positive affect after passive viewing of partner than neutral pictures, p < .001, while the break-up group did not, p = .71. Also, note that the self-reports regarding valence, arousal, positive affect, and negative affect discussed next are less susceptible to demand characteristics since participants were not instructed to change how positive, negative, or aroused they felt. This suggests that it is important to distinguish between the effects of love regulation on love feelings and on affect, as a desired effect in love feelings might not result in better affect in the short run. This study, being the first of its kind, provides many suggestions for future research. Because weaker love feelings would result in reduced significance of the partner, the reduced LPP with love down-regulation corroborates the self-report finding that people are able to down-regulate their love feelings deliberately. Depressed people think the only reality is their own “Love” is a not word you often hear uttered in office hallways or conference rooms. differences surface. [27]. tetw. Yes To conclude, to the best of our knowledge, this is the first study concerning explicit regulation of love feelings. See Tables 1 and 2 for the regulation strategies reported. The break-up group also felt less attached and tended to feel more infatuated with their partner than the relationship group. Use your own document to search for articles and books. None of the participants reported the use of suppression. See Fig 5 for the ERP waveforms and Fig 6 for the scalp topographies of the differences between partner and neutral pictures in the view blocks. Because stronger love feelings would result in enhanced significance of the partner, the enhanced LPP with love up-regulation corroborates the self-report finding that people are able to up-regulate their love feelings deliberately. Love is probably the best Infatuation was higher after passive viewing of partner than neutral pictures, and higher in the relationship than the break-up group. We did not test the long-term effects of love regulation, but it might be that even though it may be cumbersome at this moment to use reappraisal to up-regulate love feelings, it may have beneficial long-term effects in the context of romantic relationships. This greatly reduces the chance that our conclusions are based on country-, language-, or gender-specific effects, or on spurious findings. Each strategy was scored as being an exemplar of a certain category. Brain imaging studies of love suggest that 12 different areas of the brain are involved. The responses to the four open strategy questions were analyzed qualitatively. All participants had an opposite-sex partner. It is also true that the less love you have, the more depression Please note that the up- and down-regulation effects of interest discussed below involve comparisons between up- and down-regulation of responses to the partner pictures only. Love and Power Power infuses all relationships, but today there’s a new paradigm: Only equally shared power creates happy individuals and satisfying marriages. In two studies, we examined preconceptions about, strategies for, and the feasibility of love regulation. opportunities to learn the skills of love. This article examines cognitive links between romantic love and creativity and between sexual desire and analytic thought based on construal level theory. Thus, the two groups differed from each other on variables that can be expected to be related to whether someone is in a relationship or has experienced a break-up, but the groups did not differ on variables that should be unrelated to relationship status. In none of these analyses, the main effect of Group or interactions with Group were significant, all Fs < 2.4, all ps > .13, so perceived control over different aspects of love feelings did not differ between the relationship and break-up groups. Reciprocated love, for example, may elicit the emotion euphoria, while unreciprocated love may elicit the emotion sadness. Participants tended to feel that they were less able to control their love feelings than people in general are. It has been accepted for inclusion in English by an authorized administrator of Scholar Commons. The other strategies, such as reappraisal by thinking about the positive aspects of the situation, other ways of reappraising, avoidance, suppression (“making yourself strong (pretend) for the outside world”), eating/smoking, and expressing emotions were used least often when heartbroken. Affiliations However, self-reports do suffer from desirability biases and demand characteristics [40, 41]. Four participants had to be excluded from the EEG analyses because of experimenter error during the EEG recording (n = 3) or too many artifacts (n = 1, more information below). Participants completed a love regulation task, see Fig 1, while their electroencephalogram (EEG) was recorded. Evolved traits such as intuitive skills have allowed individuals to quickly evaluate a suitable sexual partner in about 100 milliseconds (Olson and Marshuetz, 2005; Todorov, 2008; Willis and Todorov, 2015). See Fig 3 for the infatuation, attachment, valence, and arousal ratings at the end of each block in the regulation task. First, we conducted a pilot study (Study 1) and then we conducted another study (Study 2) to confirm the findings of the pilot study. For example, the partner wearing a yellow shirt and standing next to a friend on a picture could inspire the participant to up-regulate love feelings by thinking “I love that yellow shirt he’s wearing” and to down-regulate love feelings by thinking “He is always hitting on that friend, and he might cheat on me one day”. Love feelings can also be stronger than desired. depression is feeling unloved. As in Study 1, some of these strategies were the typical cognitive and behavioral emotion regulation strategies, such as reappraisal, distraction, situation selection, and suppression. I love my wife (or mother or child or friend). https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0161087. 25: Iss. No, Is the Subject Area "Analysis of variance" applicable to this article? The article presents a conceptual, historical, anthropological, psychological, and sociological review of cultural perspectives on love: how culture affects our experience and expression of love. In short, several behavioral and cognitive strategies were used in the contexts of heartbreak and long-term relationships. (1) may be understood as meaning merely that I like this thingor activity very much. love them. The advantage of the LPP amplitude over self-reported feelings is that it is not susceptible to social desirability biases and demand characteristics. The break-up groups did tend to report lower relationship quality than the relationship group. In contrast to the hypotheses, and to the notion that the LPP amplitude is modulated by regulation instruction according to the regulatory goal [19], the LPP amplitude was numerically, but not significantly, enhanced for down-regulation between 300–400 ms in both groups, and significantly reduced for up-regulation between 700–3000 ms in participants who were in a romantic relationship. Google Scholar provides a simple way to broadly search for scholarly literature. It would also be interesting to examine the effectiveness of behavioral and cognitive strategies other than reappraisal for regulating love feelings, including distraction, avoidance, and undertaking (new) activities with the beloved. A significance level of 5% (two-sided) was selected and Fisher’s least significance difference (LSD) procedure was applied. The ERQ reappraisal score correlated positively with perceived control over individual love feelings, r(38) = .32, p = .044, and tended to correlate positively with perceived control over the intensity of love feelings, r(38) = .30, p = .056, and with perceived control over the object of love feelings, r(38) = .29, p = .075, see Fig 2. During the first love-year, serotonin levels gradually return to normal, and the “stupid” and “obsessive” aspects of the condition moderate. Then, participants completed 17 questions to assess perceived control of love feelings (Cronbach’s alpha = .93), see the S1 Appendix. Situation selection is to avoid or seek out certain situations to change the way you feel (e.g., attending a party to have fun) [21]. In the four open strategy questions, we did not ask participants about the effectiveness of the strategies they listed. This was done to not increase the chance of Type I errors and to not exclude the possibility of observing any effects that were contrary to the hypothesis, again, because of the exploratory nature of the study. During the first several decades of my life, my main priorities were: to absorb as much education and knowledge as possible, to make […] The first goal was to determine whether people think that love feelings can be controlled or not. This hypothesis shows how love regulation is theoretically distinct from emotion regulation. In short, love regulation may increase the positive effects and decrease the negative effects of love on individuals and on society and therefore deserves much attention from the scientific community. Other strategies such as expressing love feelings to the beloved, trust, spending (quality) time with the beloved, loving unconditionally/making compromises, the two reappraisal strategies, and spending time apart from the beloved were mentioned as well. Department of Psychological Sciences, University of Missouri–St. Because the LPP amplitude is typically enhanced in response to both positive and negative stimuli, the LPP does not reflect whether a stimulus elicits positive or negative feelings. Seeking social support was less popular in the current Dutch sample than in the US sample in Study 1. Depending on the conclusions of those studies, the LPP amplitude may or may not have limited usability as a measure of regulation success. The instruction to up-regulate love feelings resulted in a more positive ERP between 300–400 ms (cf. aware of it as of your own. Agape was later translated into Latin as caritas, which is the origin of our word “charity.” C.S. Louis, St. Louis, Missouri, United States of America, Up-regulation instructions were to increase love feelings by thinking about positive aspects of the partner (e.g., “He is so funny”) or relationship (e.g., “We get along so well”), or positive future scenarios (e.g., “We’ll get married”). The latter was used more for maintaining long-term relationships than for preventing love feelings from declining. Participants also completed the Infatuation and Attachment Scales (IAS) [14], and the Passionate Love Scale (PLS) [50] to assess the intensity of infatuation and attachment. The evidence suggests that love is a universal It feels good but rarely Questionnaire responses showed that people perceive love feelings as somewhat uncontrollable. you are likely to experience in your life. Infatuation is typically most intense at the early stages of love after which it decreases relatively quickly [13–15] and attachment takes some time to develop [13–15] after which it decreases over the course of decades [16]. consequence of low. [76]. The decrease of infatuation and attachment over time threatens the stability of romantic relationships. People who have just experienced a break-up, in contrast, would benefit from love down-regulation, because that could help them cope with the break-up. 2017-01-12T01:32:48+08:00 Here is the list of articles about love. Interpreting the LPP amplitude as reflecting the affective and motivational significance of, and the resulting motivated attention to a stimulus [42], the significantly reduced LPP amplitude for up-regulation between 700–3000 ms in participants who were in a romantic relationship suggests that, even though up-regulation initially (i.e., between 300–400 ms) increases the significance of, and attention to a current partner, it reduces it eventually (i.e., after 700 ms). If you don't learn the skills of love you virtually guarantee that you Yes Therefore, future studies should examine the long-term effects of love regulation, including its effects on well-being and relationship stability and satisfaction, as well as ways in which love regulation can become habitual. It's part of our national vulnerability, like eating junk These findings suggest that implicit up-regulation of love feelings for the current romantic partner is feasible and that it contributes to relationship satisfaction. In this first empirical test of the feasibility of love regulation, we focused on the reappraisal strategy because it is considered effective in altering feeling intensity and beneficial for cognitive and social functioning [21]. We present the first two studies on preconceptions about, strategies for, and the feasibility of love regulation. However, also participants who had recently experienced a break-up unexpectedly experienced more unpleasant feelings after love down-regulation. Some of these strategies were the typical cognitive and behavioral emotion regulation strategies, such as reappraisal, distraction, and situation selection. Having determined that someone is attractive at first sight, an individual may become emotionally attached to that person and communicate their affection via a copulatory gaze, in which … Instead, the LPP amplitude has been used as an objective measure of regulation success [19] because it reflects the affective and motivational significance of a stimulus and the resulting motivated attention instead [42]. Positive and negative affect after each block, separately for both groups. However, what is meant by ‘love’ differs from case tocase. Yes You do that by understanding where the other person is coming from, Love is as critical for your mind and body as oxygen. Erich Fromm called it "an act of will." Ten of these break-ups were initiated by the partner, six by the participant, and four break-ups were a joint decision. What relationship. But the physically and emotionally. No, Is the Subject Area "Facial expressions" applicable to this article? It is therefore important that a second line of research has shown that people can use cognitive strategies to regulate their motivations, including sexual arousal [25], excitement about monetary reward [26–29], and craving for alcohol, food, and cigarettes [30, 31]. See Table 4 for the mean perceived control over the seven different aspects of love. Clearly, it would be advantageous if we could regulate love feelings at will, so that we could up-regulate them when they are weaker than desired, and down-regulate them when they are stronger than desired. The less connected you are, the more you are As a I just didn't know how to do and now I'll learn." That is, a reduced affective and motivational significance of, and motivated attention to the partner pictures (as reflected by the LPP amplitude) may very well be accompanied by an increase in general negative affect that is not linked to the 3-sec presentation of a picture and will therefore not be reflected in the ERP (e.g., because the baseline correction removed the effect). Yes Please note that the stimulus in this figure is not actually one of the pictures that were submitted by the participants. While communication/honesty was used more to maintain long-term relationships than to prevent love from declining, undertaking (new) activities with the beloved was mostly used to prevent love from declining. For more information about PLOS Subject Areas, click In ordinary conversations, we often say things like the following: 1. Thus, love up-regulation using reappraisal may be more successful for up-regulating attachment than infatuation. In addition, it is important dissociate the effects of love regulation on love feelings and on affect, as a desirable effect on love feelings may be accompanied by an undesirable effect on affect, or vice versa. Thus, partner pictures elicited positive and arousing feelings in the relationship group but not in break-up group, which confirms that the two groups differed in anticipated ways. In the third and fourth block, participants were instructed to up- and down-regulate their love feelings in response to the partner pictures (order counterbalanced between participants) using reappraisal. In the break-up group, none of the post hoc tests were significant. The reason for excluding participants with mental disorders was that many mental disorders are associated with emotion dysregulation [23], which indicates that love regulation may also be different in patients than in healthy controls. Romantic love has positive effects on individuals and society as a whole. We discuss research on how love is defined, the significance of love for human activity and well-being, and evidence about the mechanisms by which love is believed to operate. getting and how you are being treated, read your partner's need. It is important to note that the ERP reflects brain activation elicited by events, which are the presentations of partner and neutral pictures in this case. Positive affect after the three blocks with partner pictures showed a main effect of Regulation, F(2,76) = 21.3, ε = .94, p < .001, which was modulated by a significant Regulation x Group interaction, F(2,76) = 8.4, ε = .94, p = .001. Because avoidance of beloved-related cues might prevent extinction of the love feelings, it may not be a suitable strategy for down-regulating love feelings in the longer term. Department of Psychology, University of Maryland, College Park, Maryland, United States of America, Affiliation does this person really need for his/her own well-being? Because the LPP begins in the time range of the classic P300 [19] and can last as long as the stimulus duration [56], the ERP was quantified by mean amplitude measures in four time windows based on previous work [47, 48, 56–58]: 300–400 ms, 400–700 ms, 700–1000 ms, 1000–3000 ms. For each time window, mean amplitudes measures at Fz, Cz, and Pz were subjected to two ANOVAs. The EEG was recorded using a 32-channel amplifier and data acquisition software (ActiveTwoSystem, BioSemi). Recommended Citation Binetti, Maureen S. (2007) "Romance in the Workplace: When "Love" Becomes Litigation,"Hofstra Labor and Employment Law Journal: Vol. There were no other requirements than that the pictures had to contain the partner. Focus on the other person. It is important to note that the variety of information on the pictures does not confound the effects of regulation, because the same 30 partner pictures were presented in each regulation condition. To conclude, participants reported to use several behavioral and cognitive strategies in heartbreak and long-term relationship contexts. Two participants reported that they could not decrease love feelings. It would be interesting to test whether perceived control over love feelings varies between regulation directions (i.e., whether people think it is easier to down-regulate love than to up-regulate love, or vice versa) in future studies. The unexpected LPP findings challenge the interpretation of the regulation effects in the LPP amplitude. Finally, the relationship and break-up groups did not differ in their habitual use of reappraisal and suppression. result, the depressed often sit around passively waiting for someone to See Tables 1 and 2 for the regulation strategies reported. Studies like those will provide more information about what exactly the LPP amplitude reflects in regulation tasks. The EEG data were analyzed with BrainVision Analyzer 2 (Brain Products, Gilching, Germany). themselves and they do not feel loved by others. The second ANOVA concerned the three blocks with partner pictures and tested the factors Regulation, Group, and Caudality. For more information, please contactdillarda@mailbox.sc.edu. disappointed because there are many things that do not fit the cultural People did perceive more control over some aspects of love than others and the majority of people reported to use a variety of strategies when heartbroken or when in a long-term relationship. to love. It might be that love up-regulation only leads to a reduction in negative affect when it is successful (as indicated by an enhanced LPP). In the relationship group, the ERP was less positive for up- and down-regulation than passive viewing at Pz, both ps < .002. Scholarly Articles. It was expected that love up-regulation would enhance the LPP in response to pictures of the (ex-)partner in both groups, which would indicate that love up-regulation would enhance the affective and motivational significance of, and the resulting motivated attention to the (ex-)partner. who that person is, and by being able to represent yourself. The ERP was more positive for up-regulation than passive viewing at Cz and Pz, both ps < .004. Because at least 12 trials are needed to adequately estimate emotion regulation effects in the LPP amplitude [55], the one participant that had fewer than 12 trials left per electrode per condition was excluded from the EEG analyses, as mentioned above. Love up- and down-regulation have numerous applications, ranging from stabilizing long-term relationships including marriages, reducing heartbreak after romantic break-ups, ameliorating unwanted crushes and forbidden loves, and perhaps even coping with the death of a beloved. For Plato, the love of beauty culminates in the love of philosophy, the subject that pursues the highest capacity of thinking. Participants perceived feelings of attachment as more controllable than feelings of infatuation and they felt more in control of the intensity of love feelings than of who they are in love with. Recognize that the internal voice is strong but it's not real. Limerance is that first stage of mad. negotiable. Love is The Cause of Your Being: Incarnation and The Odyssey o f Boethius ... a model for loving those in despair that is founded on … Why Love Has Wings and Sex Has Not: How Reminders of Love and Sex Influence Creative and Analytic Thinking (J.A. More research is needed to systematically test these and other factors to better understand the effects of regulation task characteristics on the LPP amplitude. To summarize, up-regulation elicited a more positive ERP than passive viewing at midline centro-parietal electrodes between 300–400 ms. Negative affect showed main effects of Picture, F(1,38) = 9.6, p = .004, and Group, F(1,38) = 25.7, p < .001, which were modulated by a significant Picture x Group interaction, F(1,38) = 8.7, p = .005. Society make it an important research topic scale we used two-sided tests even when we had an a priori were... Tended to feel more negative following up-regulation and more positive following down-regulation and strategies for, and.! Infatuations levels, Cz, and the “stupid” and “obsessive” aspects of love feelings in! Clarify its interpretation attitudes with the initiation, maintenance, scholarly article on love strategies,! Publishing in a more positive feelings in both groups of life that many may... Get love and be loved and relationship characteristics and long-term relationships for 4 sec consisted... Case, love is as critical for your mind and body as oxygen strategies they.... Greater the decrease of infatuation and attachment levels, the ERP was less positive after than... 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[ 34 ] have the preconception that love just happens end of each block, separately for both groups sweeps!